QA 15. (June 09) Essence of philosophical counselling

I have been explaining, exploring and writing about my philosophical counselling practice since I began in 2002. I’ve presented papers at conferences here in South Africa and in Canada and the US, which are available on my website along with other published articles. But recently a couple of friends challenged me to cut to the chase, and get down to the bare bones: what is this thing you do with people? And so here it is, in less than 300 words! – the essence of philosophical practice.

Who should come to a philosophical counsellor? Basically, anyone who finds the idea appealing – but likely candidates include those who are regularly told that they “think too much” (and get really, really annoyed by that), or those who feel blocked by worries or confusion. It’s not about being intellectual or having high language skills or being able already to clearly express yourself and your troubles. It also isn’t about studying philosophical traditions, although these provide useful resources. Philosophical practice goes back to philosophy’s roots of love (philo) and wisdom (sophia).

I start with a couple of basic premises. One is that, at the root of every person’s suffering or discontent, there is some mistaken belief. Such mistakes and misperceptions aren’t signs of stupidity or a cause for shame, but the inevitable consequence of how humans learn. And we can always understand better. (This is the love of wisdom.)

Secondly, the context in which we experience and understand the world is always relational. For better or worse, a person is a person through other people. But, now or in the past, our relationships may fail to support – or forcefully undermine – our ability to find our way in the world. And what has been harmed in relationship can be healed in relationship. (This is the wisdom of love.)

Accordingly, philosophical counselling takes place within an extended conversation. Together, we explore your understanding of the world, your self and your situation. Each counselling relationship is fluid, ranging as wide and digging as deep as we are both willing and able to go. Philosophical counselling holds no assumptions, agendas or ambitions for the client (or “guest”). The goal is nothing other than to discover the confidence and clarity that allows you to go on.

© 2009

QA 14. (May 09) The first priority

www.newsinphotos.co.za

What should be the single priority for the new South African government? In his Sunday Times column (3 May 2009), Mac Maharaj invited readers to answer this question, following Peter Bruce’s observation that a government that tries to fix everything achieves nothing. “Let us… find some common purpose, which is the first step to success.”

But because any choice refers to a prior and more fundamental commitment – to the criteria by which we choose – it seems to me that clarity of purpose is at least as necessary as common purpose. What we believe the government’s priority should be depends on how we understand its purpose, and this in turn will shape the way it functions and is evaluated.

So here’s my response:

QA 13. (April 09) Tug of war, tug of words

Michael the teacher was talking about what he says to new classes to disarm them. To disarm them? An ambiguous phrase. Did he mean to charm the children or to take away their weapons? Which reminded me of the philosopher Emmanuel Levinas’s view that discourse (conversation, dialogue) is the way we can engage with each other without violence. Which started me thinking about how we use language to arm and disarm ourselves and each other.

QA 12. (March 09) In defence of ego

“Struggle is ego.”

“All ambition is vanity.”

“I’ve been meeting my ego a lot recently.”

These three comments came my way over the course of a few days. They all seem to express some nervousness, disapproval or dislike of “ego”. Is that fair? Is ego simply a problem?

QA 11. (Feb 09) A wedding

For David and Corinna, 21 February 2009

What does it mean, to marry?

Marriage is an event, both simple and extraordinary. Something will be accomplished, here, today. Something will end and something begin. To marry is “to unite intimately”. It is rite of passage in which two lives are transformed. Two singular people say I – I will, yes – and find themselves we, us. First person plural.

This event takes place through words that are spoken: a solemn vow, a promise made, carried on the breath “from your lips to God’s ear”. One pledges one’s troth, one’s truth. Whatever words are used are words of honour. I take you as my husband, my wife, and I give my life into your care. In this exchange, the two become as one.

QA 10. (Dec 08) Radical maturity?

The other day someone spoke of “maturity”, and I thought how quaint. With all the changes that befall us in the world, and all the changes we try to make, how rarely do we experience – or desire – simple ripening, that something should grow into its own fullness, in the fullness of time. So, I wondered, what’s that about?

Mostly, it’s about hatred of the present and the past it rode in on.

QA 9. (Nov 08) Doing without drama

Walking by a farm dam, one frog after another leaps into the water ahead of me. Plop! One jump out of danger, a kick underwater into the silt and out of sight. I notice how natural creatures simply do, without drama.

Some of us, however, adore our theatrics. Should I stay or should I jump? Here? There? (And why is it always me who has to jump?) Like this? Watch me! Now? Too late! And then the danger (if there is a danger) either passes by or our little drama frog gets squashed. Either way, it never knew what happened. Silly frog. Silly us.

QA 8. (Oct 08) Practising philosophy in trying times

It’s become terribly unfashionable to be “judgemental”, but the fact of the matter is that life calls for judgement, all the time. So we should learn to do it well. For me, this is the purpose of philosophical practice: to study and understand what’s going on in the world and in oneself, in order to respond appropriately and skilfully. In short, to learn to judge wisely. Our current “interesting times” are ripe for philosophical enquiry.

Here in South Africa,

QA 7. (Sept 08) Fearless speech

Speaking truth to power refers to those brave souls who go up against some entrenched power armed only with the truth. Since democracy’s beginning, this kind of truth-speaking has been honoured. In Greek, it is called parrhesia, which Michel Foucault (Fearless Speech, Semiotext(e) 2001) has characterised as “frankness in speaking the truth”. The citizen parrhesiastes says what’s on his mind and identifies himself as the one who knows this truth that he speaks. Parrhesia finds fault with someone powerful; it is always dangerous and risky; it responds to a sense of moral duty.

QA 6. (Jul-Aug 08) The roots of responsibility

No question about it: responsibility is a burden. It reins in our freedom and threatens our pleasant sense of innocence. On the face of it, responsibility is anything but desirable. We are tempted to wriggle out of it: that’s not my fault or my department or my problem. At the same time, responsibility gives us a sense of worth, gravity and seriousness. In community, we depend upon others to shoulder the responsibility that is proper to each. But how do we know what that is?